On Building the Life You Want, Ikigai, and Becoming a Power Negotiator
On Building the Life You Want, Ikigai, and Becoming a Power Negotiator
Books that changed my thinking, my behaviors, and my life
Hello all!
This week’s Three Book Thursday includes books that significantly transformed my thinking and behaviors. Here is your weekly dose of goodness:
1. Personal development
Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier
Summary
This is a new book (Brooks is currently promoting it on his tour). I first heard of it from a podcast episode with Brooks and Tim Ferriss (it was excellent). The book is worth reading no matter what stage in life you are in. There are a few key take aways that influenced my aspirational behavior. You’ll enjoy it. Brooks is not new to 3BT. His book From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life was reviewed previously (and is also excellent).
Insight: Switch from wishing others were different to working on the one person you can control: yourself. You feel negative emotions just like anyone else, but you can set about making more conscious choices about how to react to them. The decisions you make–not your primal feelings–can lead you to transform less productive emotions into positive ones such as gratitude, hope, compassions, and humor.
Insight: We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.
Quote: Happiness is a direction. -Arthur Brooks
Author: Arthur Brooks
Themes: Personal development, Living a full life, Health and wellness
My personal notes from the book
2. Personal development
Ikigai
Summary
Around 2010 I heard the term Ikigai. I’m not sure where I heard it, but its meaning stuck with me. It translates from Japanese to English to mean reason for being. Understanding your why in anything you do is central to achieving success. In a future 3BT, you’ll hear about Simon Sinek’s Start With Why, which was one of the most influential books for me in business. Ikigai is the equivalent influence for living a full life–your reason for being.
Concept: Hara hachi bu = Fill your belly to 80% (when eating a meal…and perhaps in many other activities in life)
Concept: Wabi-sabi: A Japanese concept that shows beauty is fleeting, changeable, and imperfect. Look for things that are flawed, that resemble the natural world.
Principle: The principle of compass over maps: it is more important to have a compass pointing us to a concrete objective than to have a map. A map can lead us deep into the woods at an unnecessarily high cost. A good compass will take you where you need to go. A good compass (morality, ethics, purpose...ikigai).
Quote: He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how -Victor Frankel
Quote: We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit -Aristotle
Keys to Ogimi lifestyle:
Vegetable garden
Neighborhood association
Celebrate, even little things. Music, song, and dance are essential parts of daily life
Have an important purpose, but don't take it too seriously. Are relaxed and enjoy all that they do
Proud of traditions and customs
Passionate about everything they do, even the seemingly insignificant
Recognize the connection between people
Always busy but occupied with tasks that allow to relax
Author: Hector Garcia
Themes: Personal development, Living a full life, Health and wellness
My personal notes from the book
3. Negotiation
Secrets of Power Negotiating
Summary
Everyone wants to be a better negotiator. This is the most powerful book on negotiation that I’ve ever read. To get the most out of it, you’ll need to read it more than once (in fact, it was so good that back in 2009, I would listen to the CD set of this book on my daily drive to and from work). Trust me, you’ll never negotiate the same way. It is outstanding and will have an immediate impact for you. The linked notes barely scrape the surface.
Principle: As the negotiation progresses every advance will depend on the atmosphere created in the early stages.
Concept: MPP-the maximal plausible position-the most you can ask for and still have the other side see some plausibility in your position
Concept: Never say yes to the first offer or counter-offer. It automatically triggers two thoughts: I could have done better (and next time I will) and something must be wrong.
Authors: Richard Dawson
Themes: Negotiation, Running a business
My personal notes from the book
That’s a wrap. Thanks for reading!
Please continue to share with me the books that changed your life!
Best,
Adam
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