The Restaurant That Taught Me the True Meaning of Loyalty
Books that changed my thinking, behaviors, and life
During my sophomore year in college, my GPA sank to 2.1, and I was teetering on the brink of academic probation. I knew something had to change. And it did.
That moment marked the start of a lifelong journey, one driven by a hunger for learning. I devoured books across every genre—biographies, business, medicine, nature, politics, finance, fiction, and more. That journey continues today.
Become part of a community of people who care, who strive for growth, who seek to make an impact, and who are committed to living life to the fullest.
Hello,
There are very few things in life we do consistently for decades. For individuals in their first marriage who do not divorce, the median duration is about 21 years. The average length of homeownership is approximately 12 years. The average time someone stays at a job? Just 4 years. Stability, in a world that changes so fast, has become almost an anomaly.
I thought about this recently and realized there’s nothing I’ve done—no tradition or ritual—that’s remained unchanged for more than thirty years.
Except one.
For thirty-two years, I’ve dined at the same restaurant: Monte’s Trattoria, nestled at 97 MacDougal Street in New York City’s Greenwich Village. It’s an old-school Italian spot, the kind you don’t come across much anymore. The waitstaff knows your name, the owner stops by your table, and the food? It’s always just right.
Monte’s is more than a restaurant to me—it’s been a constant in a world full of change. Over the years, it became woven into the fabric of my life. I didn’t just eat there. I celebrated there. I reflected there. I built memories there, plate by plate, meal by meal.
Every visit to Monte’s added another layer to the relationship I built with the restaurant. It wasn’t just a place to grab a bite; it became a space where life happened.
Here’s a photo of my wife and me celebrating at Monte’s after we got engaged in 2003:
Like many classic Italian restaurants, Monte’s walls are lined with photographs of people who’ve dined there—New York politicians, actors, athletes, military leaders, and, of course, Pavarotti himself. It’s a mosaic of the lives and stories that have passed through its doors.
One day, as a joke, I asked the owner if he’d ever hang my picture on the wall. To my surprise, he said yes.
In 2022, I brought my closest friends and family to Monte’s for the official “photo hanging” celebration. That night wasn’t just about great food and incredible wine—it was about connection.
Here’s the photo (see yellow arrow): me, the owner, and my childhood friend Steve—the same Steve who joined me the very first time I walked into Monte’s in 1992. By the way, the picture to the left (cut off) features Joe Torre, the legendary Yankees manager, and to the right, Stanley Turrentine, a master of the tenor saxophone.
This wasn’t just about having my photo on a wall. It was about what that photo represented: decades of showing up, of committing to a place, of quietly saying, this matters to me.
We live in a world where loyalty feels increasingly rare. We jump from place to place, experience to experience, always chasing the next new thing. But there’s something profoundly meaningful about staying the course, about building something slowly over time.
Loyalty isn’t flashy. It’s not instant gratification. It’s about showing up, again and again, and allowing time to work its magic. Whether it’s a favorite restaurant, a career, or a friendship, loyalty is an investment. It creates roots, fosters relationships, and eventually, it’s recognized in ways you’d never expect.
For me, seeing my picture on that wall wasn’t about the meals I’d eaten at Monte’s. It was about the story I’d written alongside the restaurant—a story of trust, of connection, of being part of something bigger than myself.
The question I’d ask you is this: what places, traditions, or relationships are you quietly committing to? What are you showing up for, day after day, that will one day tell a story of loyalty, meaning, and growth?
Because here’s the thing about loyalty: it has a way of rewarding us. Not just with recognition, but with something far deeper—a sense of belonging, a connection to something timeless, and a meaning that lasts far longer than any single meal.
Welcome to this week’s Three Book Thursday.
1. Fiction
A Man Called Ove
Summary
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman is a poignant and heartwarming reminder of the extraordinary depth hidden within ordinary lives. On the surface, Ove is a grumpy, solitary man whose days are built on rigid routines, blunt remarks, and a fierce dedication to rules. But beneath the gruff exterior lies a story of profound loyalty—to love, to community, and to the unspoken bonds that make us human. As Ove reluctantly connects with his quirky new neighbors, his carefully ordered world begins to unravel, revealing a heart marked by grief, resilience, and a steadfast devotion to those he holds dear.
Backman’s storytelling shines as it balances humor and heartbreak, showing us that loyalty often reveals itself in quiet, unassuming acts—fixing a broken fence, showing up when it matters, or simply refusing to give up on someone. A Man Called Ove is a tribute to the people who anchor us, even when they seem rough around the edges. It’s a call to see beyond first impressions, to recognize the impact of steadfast love, and to celebrate the power of connection. This book doesn’t just tug at your heartstrings; it inspires you to be the kind of person who shows up for others, even in life’s smallest moments. A story that will make you laugh, cry, and reflect on the loyalty that weaves us together.
The book was adapted to a movie in 2023.
Favorite Quote, Insight, & Principle
Quote: You only need one ray of light to chase all the shadows away.
Insight: Loving someone is like moving into a house. At first, you fall in love with all the new things, amazed every morning that this is yours. Then over the years, the walls wear out, the wood splinters here and there, but all those little imperfections become the ones you can’t live without.
Principle: There’s a difference between being angry at life and being angry at someone for no reason.
Author: Fredrik Backman
Themes: Fiction
2. Fiction
The Kite Runner
Summary
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is a powerful exploration of guilt, redemption, and the unbreakable bonds of friendship. Set against the backdrop of a turbulent Afghanistan, it tells the story of Amir and Hassan, two boys whose lives are forever intertwined yet divided by class and betrayal. Hosseini’s storytelling transports you to a world of vivid beauty and heartbreak, where moments of innocence are shattered by harsh realities. As Amir grows up and carries the weight of a haunting decision, the novel becomes a journey not just across continents but into the depths of his soul—a quest to find forgiveness, both from others and himself.
What makes this story unforgettable is its raw honesty. Hosseini doesn’t shy away from portraying the darker corners of human nature, but he also reveals the capacity for hope and change. At its heart, The Kite Runner is a reminder that redemption is possible, though it often requires courage, sacrifice, and the willingness to confront painful truths. It’s a tale of loyalty that transcends time and distance, showing us that the choices we make, even in the shadows, have the power to shape who we become. This is more than a novel; it’s an emotional reckoning that lingers long after the last page is turned.
Favorite Quote, Insight, & Principle
Quote: There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft… when you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth.
Insight: There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.
Principle: The past claws its way out.
Author: Khaled Hosseini
Themes: Fiction
3. Peak performance
The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics
Summary
The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown is a story that grabs you by the heart and refuses to let go. Set during the Great Depression, it follows nine scrappy young men from working-class families who come together to form the University of Washington’s rowing team. They aren’t just battling elite competitors—they’re fighting poverty, self-doubt, and the crushing weight of their own personal struggles. Against all odds, they rise to take on the world’s best crews, culminating in a breathtaking race for Olympic gold at Hitler’s 1936 Berlin Games. Brown’s storytelling is so vivid and human, you feel every oar stroke, every setback, and every victory alongside them.
But this book is more than just a sports story. It’s a lesson in grit, resilience, and the power of coming together for something bigger than yourself. Brown captures the magic of rowing—not just as a sport but as a metaphor for life: the precision, the trust, the unity it takes to truly move forward. At its core, The Boys in the Boat is about what happens when ordinary people commit to each other and refuse to give up. It’s a reminder that even in the hardest times, teamwork, determination, and belief in one another can carry you across the finish line—and beyond.
The book was adapted to a movie in 2023.
Favorite Quotes, Insights, & Principles
Quote: The strongest person in the boat isn’t the one who pulls hardest but the one who inspires others to pull harder.
Insight: You can’t measure the heart of a rower in the calm; it’s measured in the storm.
Principle: The boat is not the most important thing, the oars are not the most important thing, and the rowers are not the most important thing. The team is everything.
Author: Daniel James Brown
Themes: Personal development, Leadership, Human psychology, Peak performance
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A Man Called Ove
Authenticity and the Power of Being True to Oneself
“Ove wasn’t bitter. He just didn’t have the faintest ability to pretend to be something he wasn’t.”
“Men are what they are because of what they do. Not what they say.”
“A time like that comes for all men when they choose what sort of men they want to be.”
Reflection
In a world that often rewards pretense and superficiality, Ove’s story reminds us of the power of authenticity. He doesn’t sugarcoat his personality, doesn’t try to be liked—he simply is. And it’s through his actions, not his words, that his character shines. Ove’s life challenges us to strip away the need for approval and focus instead on the legacy of our deeds. Who are you in the quiet moments when no one is watching? That’s the question Ove answers with his relentless honesty and unwavering sense of self.
Love as Imperfect but Essential
“Loving someone is like moving into a house. At first, you fall in love with all the new things, amazed every morning that this is yours. Then over the years, the walls become weathered, the wood splinters here and there, and you start to love that house not so much because of its perfection, but because of its imperfections.”
“We always think there’s enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens, and we stand there holding on to words like ‘if’.”
“To love someone is like giving them a gun, holding it to your heart, and trusting them never to pull the trigger.”
Reflection
Ove’s reflections on love show us that it’s far from a perfect fairy tale. It’s messy, filled with misunderstandings, yet its imperfections make it beautiful. His love for Sonja is a testament to this—unwavering and deep, even when life doesn’t go as planned. Ove reminds us to treasure the relationships we have and never assume there’s time for “later.” Love is an act of courage, vulnerability, and trust. It’s about seeing the flaws and still choosing to stay.
Community and Unexpected Bonds
“Some people have lives; some people have music.”
“People said Ove saw the world in black and white. But she was color. All the color he had.”
“You only need one ray of light to chase all the shadows away.”
Reflection
Ove’s transformation from a curmudgeon to a man surrounded by unlikely friends shows the power of community. Life’s richness often comes from the people who disrupt our routines and push us to grow. Whether it’s a quirky neighbor or a stray cat, relationships bring meaning and light to our lives. Ove’s story reminds us to stay open to the unexpected and to embrace those who add color to our days.
Resilience and Finding Purpose
“Death is a strange thing. People live their whole lives as if it does not exist, and yet it’s often one of the great motivations for living.”
“Men like Ove and cats naturally follow the principle that we only need what we need.”
“You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.”
Reflection
Ove’s life is a testament to resilience. Even in the face of immense loss, he finds purpose—not just in grand gestures but in the small, everyday acts of kindness and care. Life often asks us to keep going when we feel like giving up. Ove shows us that purpose isn’t something grandiose—it’s found in showing up, doing the next right thing, and letting our hearts lead, even when the intellect protests.
Legacy and the Impact of a Life Well Lived
“You never get away from who you are. You can put a cat in an oven, but that doesn’t make it a biscuit.”
“All people want to live dignified lives; dignity just means something different to everyone.”
“Perhaps a man’s character was defined by how he dealt with impossible situations.”
Reflection
Ove’s life forces us to consider what kind of legacy we want to leave behind. It’s not about wealth or accolades but about how we treat others and how we handle life’s challenges. He teaches us that dignity is deeply personal, that character is revealed in adversity, and that the quiet acts of service and care we give to others are what truly define us. His story is a powerful reminder that our lives matter not because of what we achieve but because of how we choose to live.
Fredrik Backman’s A Man Called Ove isn’t just a story about one grumpy old man—it’s a mirror for us all. It invites us to confront what we value, who we love, and how we show up in the world. Through Ove, we’re reminded that loyalty, love, and resilience are the foundations of a meaningful life. What will you choose to build with yours?
The Kite Runner
Betrayal and Redemption
“There is a way to be good again.”
“When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth.”
“It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime.”
Reflection
Betrayal is one of life’s most profound wounds. It lingers, leaving scars that often refuse to fade. But The Kite Runner reminds us that redemption is possible—not as a quick fix but as a long, deliberate journey. The act of betrayal may steal trust and innocence, but the path back is paved with courage and the willingness to confront our darkest actions. Redemption isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about finding a way to make peace with it. This theme resonates deeply because we’ve all, at some point, needed to ask for forgiveness or grant it. It challenges us to look inward and ask: Are we brave enough to seek the way to be good again?
Courage and Sacrifice
“For you, a thousand times over.”
“A man’s character is not judged by the actions he takes when he knows he is being watched but by the actions he takes when no one is watching.”
“There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.”
Reflection
Courage isn’t always loud. Often, it’s quiet, unwavering, and deeply personal. In The Kite Runner, we see courage in the face of injustice and sacrifice for the sake of love and loyalty. True courage often requires putting others before ourselves, even when the cost feels unbearable. The bond of loyalty is beautifully captured in these quotes, reminding us that courage is an everyday act—choosing kindness, standing up for others, or simply staying true to our word. The sacrifices we make, however small, can echo in ways we might never see, shaping lives and legacies beyond our own.
Fatherhood and Legacy
“Children aren’t coloring books. You don’t get to fill them with your favorite colors.”
“Forgive your father if you can. Forgive him if you want a measure of peace.”
“A boy who won’t stand up for himself becomes a man who won’t stand up to anything.”
Reflection
Fatherhood is a central thread in The Kite Runner, offering a lens into the complexities of love, expectation, and forgiveness. Fathers often carry the weight of their own flaws, unknowingly passing them down to their children. But Hosseini reminds us that forgiveness is the bridge between generations. To carry the anger or disappointment of our upbringing is to remain trapped by it. By forgiving our fathers—and perhaps ourselves—we create space for growth and healing. These lessons challenge us to think about the legacy we leave and the cycles we have the power to break.
The Weight of Silence
“Some stories don’t need telling.”
“A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer.”
“In the end, the world always wins. That’s just the way of things.”
Reflection
Silence can be deafening, especially when it hides pain or truth. Hosseini explores the crushing weight of unspoken stories, of lives shaped by what remains unsaid. Yet, silence isn’t always a refuge—it can also be a prison. The world may seem indifferent to our struggles, but in choosing to break the silence, we reclaim agency over our lives. We are reminded that while we may not control the world’s outcomes, we can control how we show up in the face of them. Sharing our stories, even the difficult ones, is an act of courage and liberation.
Hope and Humanity
“There is only one sin. And that is theft… When you kill a man, you steal a life.”
“Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons.”
“Time can be a greedy thing—sometimes it steals the details for itself.”
Reflection
Despite the pain and loss in The Kite Runner, the story is also one of hope and humanity. Hosseini reminds us that even in the darkest times, the human spirit can persevere. Hope is found in unexpected places—in forgiveness, in acts of kindness, in second chances. Time may steal our days, but it also offers us opportunities to heal and grow. The lessons in this book encourage us to hold onto hope, to believe in the power of humanity to overcome even the most formidable challenges.
The Kite Runner is a reminder that life is messy, filled with mistakes, heartache, and redemption. Its themes challenge us to live more authentically, to embrace courage, and to seek forgiveness when needed. At its heart, it is a story about being human—and that’s why it continues to resonate so deeply.
The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics
The Power of Teamwork
“A man couldn’t stand at the center of the boat; he’d tip it over. He had to find the balance point and trust the others to do the same.”
“In rowing, the truly great rowers work as one, as if they have a single mind. They find harmony that can’t be achieved alone.”
“The boat is not the most important thing, the oars are not the most important thing, and the rowers are not the most important thing. The team is everything.”
“True teamwork is not about fitting in but about bringing out the best in one another.”
Reflection
In a world that often glorifies individual achievement, The Boys in the Boat reminds us that true greatness is rarely a solo endeavor. Rowing isn’t just about physical strength; it’s about trust, balance, and finding unity in diversity. Each member of the team brings something unique, but it’s their ability to surrender individual desires for the collective goal that creates magic. This principle transcends rowing—it’s a lesson for families, businesses, and communities. When we prioritize the whole over ourselves, we achieve something far greater than the sum of our parts.
Resilience Through Adversity
“The ability to overcome adversity, to confront and conquer fear, is the beginning of greatness.”
“Adversity doesn’t build character as much as it reveals it.”
“The mind will quit before the body does. To endure is to overcome the mind’s limits.”
“You can’t measure the heart of a rower in the calm; it’s measured in the storm.”
Reflection
Life’s storms are inevitable, but it’s in the face of these challenges that we discover our true character. The boys in the boat endured countless hardships—both in their personal lives and on the water—but they never let adversity define them. Instead, they used it as fuel. Their story is a powerful reminder that resilience isn’t about avoiding struggle but about showing up despite it. Whether you’re battling self-doubt, navigating loss, or striving toward a seemingly impossible goal, grit and perseverance are what carry you through.
The Grace of Shared Struggle
“There is a power in shared struggle that forges a bond deeper than words.”
“Trust isn’t built in a single race but through a thousand shared hardships.”
“The hardest part isn’t pulling together but letting go of individual desires for the sake of unity.”
“A boat is an extension of the team; every movement you make echoes through the water and impacts the whole.”
Reflection
The magic of The Boys in the Boat lies in the unspoken connection forged through shared sacrifice. It’s not just about winning a race—it’s about the countless hours of practice, the setbacks, and the quiet moments of doubt they faced together. In our lives, too, the relationships we build through shared effort and vulnerability are the ones that endure. Whether it’s in friendships, partnerships, or communities, the bonds we form by pulling through the hard times together are the ones that truly matter.
The Pursuit of Excellence
“Greatness is found in the details, the unnoticed hours of preparation that make glory possible.”
“Every stroke matters, but no single stroke defines the race.”
“The strongest person in the boat isn’t the one who pulls hardest but the one who inspires others to pull harder.”
“Victory isn’t just crossing the finish line first—it’s knowing you gave your absolute all for your team.”
Reflection
Excellence is rarely about grand gestures. Instead, it’s built in the unnoticed, uncelebrated hours of work—the disciplined strokes that no one sees. The Boys in the Boat teaches us that greatness is less about perfection and more about consistency, focus, and heart. Each small effort, each choice to give our best in the moment, adds up to something extraordinary. This is a call to show up fully, even when no one is watching, and to recognize that true victory is knowing you gave everything you had—not just for yourself, but for those who rely on you.
Harmony and Balance
“Rowing is a sport of grace and power. You must push yourself to the edge of exhaustion but remain perfectly in sync with others.”
“To be extraordinary, one must embrace the ordinary moments, the grueling practice, and the long hours. That’s where champions are made.”
“The greatest challenges are not physical but emotional, the challenge of harnessing one’s doubts and fears to fuel one’s drive.”
Reflection
In rowing, as in life, balance is everything. It’s about finding that delicate harmony between effort and ease, between pushing yourself and staying connected to those around you. The boys in the boat teach us that while ambition and grit are crucial, they must be tempered with grace and a sense of unity. This balance is what transforms ordinary people into champions. It’s a lesson that resonates far beyond the water: the pursuit of excellence is as much about alignment and mindfulness as it is about strength and determination.
Loyalty, resilience, and unity thread through these stories, creating a fabric of lessons that challenge us to reconsider how we live, love, and connect. From Ove’s steadfast love and unshakable authenticity to Amir’s path toward redemption and the boys in the boat’s unrelenting pursuit of excellence, these narratives are powerful reminders that life’s most meaningful achievements aren’t measured by instant gratification but by enduring commitment.
Loyalty, whether to a partner, a community, or a team, builds something far greater than the sum of its parts. It creates a foundation for growth, trust, and belonging, a reminder that when we show up consistently, we create legacies that outlast fleeting moments. Resilience reminds us that adversity, while painful, is an opportunity for transformation. It teaches us that strength is forged in struggle and that the storms we weather together are the ones that bond us most deeply. And unity shows us that we’re at our best not when we stand alone but when we find harmony with others, embracing the shared purpose that propels us forward.
Together, these stories compel us to ask ourselves: What are we loyal to? Where do we find our resilience? And how do we contribute to something greater than ourselves? Whether it’s in our families, our friendships, or our work, these lessons invite us to invest deeply in the things that matter most. They remind us that a meaningful life isn’t just built on success—it’s built on the relationships we nurture, the struggles we overcome, and the commitments we honor.
In a fast-paced world that celebrates the new and fleeting, these themes offer a counterbalance: a call to stay the course, to hold onto what matters, and to recognize that the extraordinary is often found in the quiet, persistent pursuit of connection, purpose, and excellence. These aren’t just stories; they’re blueprints for living with intention, courage, and heart.
Best,
Adam